the girl with a dream

lemme tell u a secret.
when i was in kindy,
i adored babies.
i loved holding them, feeding them, playing with them.
if u ask me...
i think i was trying to play adult.
my mum wouldnt wanna have another baby.
sam was already born, we're just 20 months apart.
*
so i told myself,
since mummy wouldnt wanna give birth to one.
i'll have 12 kids when i grow up.
(okay, gawk all u want. i probably thought having children/ giving birth to children was as easy as doing your business, well thru the anus.)
*
there was once, mummy went for a checkup.
and dad announced at the dinner table
" we're having another baby!!!"
*
guess what i said.
i cried.
cos' i was scared the new baby would get all my mummy's attention.
haha. selfish me.
*
as i got older,
like in primary school.
i thought maybe 2 is just enough.
twins would be great.
that was before i knew that you had to sew the baby's entrance to the world after delivery.
*
after yesterday,
i'm not sure if i want kids anymore.
cheryl, my cousin's daughter, 3 years old, 15 kg.
insisted that i piggyback her.
that would not be an issue since i'm like 3.5 times her weight.
the problem is, she wanted me to exercise so badly.
" piggyback wo3 shang4 qu4 la."
" piggyback me upstairs la." (translation)
*
i did.
and as i was wiping the puddle of water she spilled in my room.
she just sprawled over my back and said," piggyback me downstairs."
i wanted to faint i tell you.
i carried a 15 kg heavy girl up and down and up and down.
i was wobbling, the mum didnt realise i think.
and she was having the fun of her life.
laughing her head off.
*
p.s. so if any of you,
wants me to babysit your child,
please make sure he/she knows that babysitters arent meant for piggybacking.

bm: so so. at least i know mencolek.

history: horrible. really horrible. i got mixed up with all the inti pati perjanjian.
**********my form 4 is officially a goner.

have faith?
i shall praise God in anything, even in my failures. amen!
well to which i think i'm to be blamed for not studying enuf.

have faith. have faith.
moral tml.
i have faith that i will not get an egg for both moral essays!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!bash! boom! pliang! crash! prak!!!
*
i am screaming my lungs out.
throwing my stuff on the floor.
just smashed a mug.
i think i destroyed my wooden ornament.
and tore a piece of rag apart.
*
ggrrr...
moo has mad cow disease now.
beware.
*
NOT.
though u guys might be dying to see me in that mode.
*
im like quiet.
sulking.
not smiling.
not laughing.
didnt even talk to my mum for more than 50 sentences. = very rare.
hmmm. something wrong here.
i didnt even have appetite. =super duper rare.
*
not emo, ppl.
not emo.
not stressed. - later ben is going to go hysterical again.
just not my usual self. :)

toodles.

u evil black box. me no likey u. roar.