Sunday, October 17, 2010

there might be big changes next year.
problem is i never liked changes :(
the thought that i MIGHT, ( i repeat, its not certain yet ) i might go to AUP next year,
is slightly troubling.
it depends whether will UK tuition fees for international students go up.
which is still unknown to everybody.
it means i have to start anew.
make new friends.
i dont get to eat with my usual gang. ( smacks hands on face )
i dont get to see my usual coursemates.
argh, sangat tak suka.
even the unknown changes that are bound to happen in church.
( who knows? (: ) is making me kinda uneasy.
splitting up passion and b'uh'nanas was never an easy experience already.
but yea, i kinda survived.
nuf' said.
just wanted to share this lollipop song to brighten ur day :D
and mine too.

Monday, October 11, 2010

im gonna be so sick with exams soon,
first AS which is in 2 days time. less than 24 hours.
then next SAT...which i have no idea how in the world will i have time to prepare.
and then...maybe TOEFL and IELTS...
and as if this was bad enough,
i have to start applying too.
US uni's by 1 Jan 2011.
UK uni's by 15 Jan 2011.
cute thing is...i dont have an exact choice of where i wanna go.
yes, laugh. laugh. im laughing at myself anyway.
there's HK competition = a lot of late nights choir practices.
mega sports camp = helping with food for a few mornings
firecamp = aha, for once, i dont have much to do. :)
A2 exams = i've got to brush up on my FM A2 syllables which i flushed down my brain 2 months ago.
empty pocket = needs to look for some part time jobs.
old phone = means new iphone? hahahahaha.
as some of the people i know will say.
"this is connie's busy life."
"this is the connie i know. "
sounds like the one i know too. :)

Sunday, October 3, 2010


this blog of mine really needs a makeover.
it usually becomes alive in a midst of major exams.
stay tuned ppl,
for panda photos or....
grunts or weird posts or maybe emo-ish feelings.

the other day,
leslie talked in ISCA about having a dream.
i thought i didnt have one.
and seriously gave much thought to it.
the fundraising for Fire Camp for care cell kinda inspired me that
i wanted to run a business.
the thrill of getting stock at the lowest prices after surveying at
tesco, econsave, sunshine farlim, tesco extra, giant...
thats something i like doing.
and packaging your goods,
as in for the fruits and stuff.
and also, the feeling of counting money...hahahahaha.
(so explains why im not having a science career.)
PLUS, i like handmade stuff and creative stuff.
like Zakka. japanese term for "junk"
where people use junk to make something lovable and wallet emptifying.

i totally love going to
or martha stewart.
or art blogs.

the thought of producing something,
marketing something,
selling something
makes me feel i've accomplished something
by helping consumers
buy something they truly like.

that's why i always end up spending most of my time
doing things like that instead of studying. :/
who knows, maybe i'll be able to set up a chain store
or a line. maybe i dream too much.
but its fun and it keeps me going sometimes. :)

dreams dont have to be a reality sometimes.

Saturday, August 14, 2010









Tuesday, July 20, 2010


im gonna promise myself that i aint gonna do anything about it.
its perfect as it is.
so pls, connie, save urself the trouble
and leave it alone. (:
i'm okay.
and i will be.
-change of mood-
*looking forward for the end of the year HK trip.*
totally means another shopping spree. ^^

Thursday, July 1, 2010

30 June 2010

Anya's case somehow gave me a call...
how fragile life can be...
how much we would try to live a life when we ourselves have no idea
how long more can we number our days...
i did wonder today...
what if i died?
would i have something to leave behind for my loved ones and for the people who love me?
would i have no regrets and leave this place with a smile
and be ready to stand before my Heavenly Papa and tell Him
"i ran a good race, Pa!"
Am i ready?
i need to ask myself more often.
How many times have i slacked from doing what i should?
just to fulfill my personal desires?
or just to bury myself in those endless pile of work
just to satisfy my desire of being much of a workaholic.
or how many times have i hesitated to tell somebody,
"you did great!"
"Good Job!"
or to even tell that somebody that
"i do care"
but instead act as if i dont
or to even tell somebody that
he or she is really missing out on something in life
the one thing that's most important of all
that is the love of Jesus Christ.
i'm amazed how many times i thought more than twice
to go forward and to share
when i can spend by impulse when i SHOP.
irony much.
when i die,
i hope to have left something behind for everybody
it may be a dream
or a little piece of some memory
or even the tears shared
or maybe the achievements we achieved together.
i hope that when you attend my wake service,
you would see my pretty picture,
(it better be the prettiest picture...)
and smile and say,
"i'm glad i had Connie in my life."
that would be great and that's going to be my goal.
and yes people, sing songs during my funeral.
praise Go tell it on the mountains...
i would love hearing that from heaven...
and don't worry people,
im not having any depression or any suicidal thoughts.
just writing something that just gave me a blow in the head. (:
so yesh,
number your days.
make people say,
im glad i had you in my life.
and make God proud by running the race faithfully.
r.i.p. anya

Saturday, June 5, 2010

something i read

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand abocve?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life--
And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know what you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others might have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until i shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall be always hot,
Your socks and your shirt as a whole:
I require your heart be true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing:
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts--
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,
And a man that His Maker, God
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say, "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day:
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its side?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true
All things that a man should be:
If you give this all. I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook
You can hire and little to pay:
But a woman's heart and woman's life
Are not to be won that way.

A woman's question--Lena Lanthrop

kinda of a good reminder that its ok for me to set my standards high. :)
re-read the purple bold highlighted part.
scarily true.

gonna have my first exam of the year.
its back to the books now.

Monday, May 24, 2010

im done with it.
i've dealt with it.
i've forgiven
and i choose to forgive again and forget.

just that i need a little time.
and im giving you all the space and all the privacy u need.
don't you worry a thing, im not mad.
i'm serious.
just tat maybe, things have changed.
since your status changed.
but i understand. :)
i can adapt to changes quite well, for the world's standard's and mine too.

so there.
I'M OK. :)

i kinda wonder how are my buddies, like
tzin nie,
wan ching,
tammy :)
coping with life now.
i miss the old days.
when we could do whatever we want. and laugh like nobody's business.

are the main culprits. XD.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

palms wide open

this coming month is going to be a super tough month for me.
every thing is going to be so unstable and so uncertain.
the problem is...
im going to be static. for a change.
its the people around me that are going to change.

i so hate the leaving part.
this is the only part i hate about leaving school.
well, hey, i get to leave my hair, dye whatever colour i like,
paint my nails, wear anything i'd like.
drive anywhere i its like a huge chunk of freedom
on my hands.
then there has to be D part, that i hate most.
" goodbyes"

sher lynn might or might not be leaving.
the thought that the 'powerpuff girls' is going to be separated.
is just so...
not happifying.
then there's yvonne, another darling of mine,
going off to bahrain, (hope i spelt tat correctly)
and then off to USA.
then there's maylyn,
off to oregon, USA.
its like all my gal buddies are slowly leaving one by one.

and if u've seen my previous post in fb,
like i wrote,
"nobody is supposed to leave when i'm still here."
but seriously, i have to keep telling myself

" stop being so selfish! its one of the phases of life."

i don't like it because i dunno
if...i can make our friendship stay the same way
...i can accept that we may not remain as good friends after so many years apart
...i can accept the fact i may only be titled as "this was my best friend, LAST TIME."

but all i can do is...
put it all into God's hands.
He takes people in your life away
so that He may introduce ur loved ones
to others to bless them.
as He will introduce new people in my life
and to for me to have the room
in my heart to bless them and be blessed in return,
He has to take away those people who have fulfilled His plan in my life
and send them off on their new journey.

all in all,
i believe in His plans,
thought how uncertain it may seem,
thought how vague it may seem,
But i shall choose to trust with both of my palms
wide open without clinging on to any of my strength.
this is going to be my mindset for the moment.
100 % faith
its not easy
but with God's strength, I can.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

should i?

the other day, shi hao sent me this email.

'' Winter Choral Festival 2010
Hong Kong Disneyland and Resort"

my eyes just went big!!!
it was always my dream to join a choir and participate in some serious competition
but i never had the time especially when i was still in peng hwa.

u get to go to hong kong disneyland.
u get to go sight-seeing in HK
u get to perform during disney magic music day
well, u get the idea....

so audition is today...
im just going there and play.
i hope i can sing and sway..
and then hear what the pianist has to say.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

1. i did consider buying a big nikon/slash dslr and i seriously lurve photography.

2. i did dream of being a psychologist.

3. i regretted stopping my ballet last time.

4.i still remember the time u covered my head with a carton box in the rain.

5.i cant forget that hug u gave me when i cried so badly. and i seriously appreciate it. mum is a determining factor of my weight. hahaha. ask me...

oh gosh, i cant even type up to 10.
i think i practically tell u guys everything.
so much for being mysterious.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

i have no idea what happened to my urge to blog nowadays.

oh yes,
if u were wondering how i've been.
i've been busy.
and if u noticed.
i think i'll never said i was free. hahaha.

college has been fun.
at least it isnt as hectic as secondary school.
but then, there are tons of temptations
that can drag u away from ur table.
(well, i might be at my table with the wrong motives like facebooking)

i have made some interesting friends and discovered some interesting facts as well.
and if u read further,
u might be able to notice that most are not from my gender.
dun ask me why.
my conclusion is, i knew most of the galfriends i know now.

1. my fingers are amusing.
the Yap twins found my sausage-like fingers very amusing.
which is like a wonder for me.
cos everytime i cup my face in despair with my hands,
they laughed as if i just used cow dung as a facial mask.
and then they started comparing palms.
very predictably, mine was the shortest.
theirs could even bend a joint over all my fingers.
(those who could do that were giants, so its genetic)

2. my smile looks like a cry.
i think eric started that theory.
he said that, when i smile, its so hard to differentiate whether i was crying or smiling.
so now, when i smile,
i have to deliberately, use my fingers to push the ends of mouth into a smiley curve
like this >> :)
then the twins laugh again.
cos my fingers amused them. *rolls eyes*

3. my name has multiple versions now.
a) con con
b) ah corn
c) jagung

i guess the 'connie the cow" nickname didnt make it to college.

4. it irritates the guys when my height can change by a few inches overnight.
i have to go thru so much indecisiveness on shoes.
cos if i wear my heels,
they'd complain.
but if i dun, my jeans are far too long.
so sometimes, i just dun care and i shock them silently by just standing beside them.
and they'd eye my feet immediately.hahahhaa.
i just love that look.

5. i have come to a conclusion that
when its the gals that take action, that relationship is likely to blossom.

no extra explanations needed.

6. there are ppl who can eat a 4 person portion and be as skinny as a stick.
i'm serious when i meant stick, he's all brown and stiggy.
he's a tennis state player and super good in further maths.
so hes's like a weird combination.
cos usually ppl are more developed in either areas.
oh yes, envy him! yep, he's Pang.
i cant even see any flab on him!
and i think he has a waist size of a gal.
not to mention he's 180...(rough estimation)
can i just not talk about him?
he just makes me feel obese by now.

7. it amuses PS when i am irritated by him.
so can u imagine how horrible my life is?
not to mention, he just switched to my maths and mechanics class.
i think that's 14 hours a week of being in the same class with him.
i'm praying hard for him to get selected for jpa.
and only see him in court decades later.
hahahaha. i'm predicting that RY will tell him about this.
and he'll be fuming mad.
did i tell u, i like to irritate u too?

enuf said.
i've officially updated my blog.
God knows when my next post is.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

during my bus ride back from kuala gula,
(i went to plant mangrove trees)
with a tan and a scarred foot,
i've come to a conclusion that gals aint the only complicated spesies.
sometimes u guys are equally unreadable.
you dont want a gal too dumb
nor a gal too smart
you dont want a gal too ugly
nor a gal too pretty
you would love guys who can have the same interests u have
but would want a ladylike gal
u dont want a gal who nags
nor do u want a gal who doesnt care....
see how complicated u guys are now?

but well,
before i arouse any heated arguements,
lets just say that humans are plain complicated. :)
gals arent easy to understand, i dun understand my own kind sometimes either.

Saturday, January 30, 2010


just to clarify a little stuff.
davids, THANK YOU!
is that enough to cool you down already? :)
and andrew aint a monster.
in case u guys have that impression.
he was just pek chek with me.

i so do not need another compliant regarding my posts again. haha.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

i've ben making that face all thru that class.
just that class.
only that class.
yea, its economics.
it is so so so hard!
i'd rather do 100 do-able add maths questions then
analyse graphs, curves and names that just boggle my mind.
what indifference?
normal and inferior goods?
never have i felt so helpless before.
even bio wasnt that freaky in form 5.
and especially when u have davids, as ur classmate.
he knows this sub a lot.
(if u're reading this, dun be too flattered and show it off in college.)
i just have to ask him to explain A LOT.
and he's like, " cam d you, liddat have difficulty d, how to take exam."
and economics is not the only subject.
i make Andrew growl in fury even after he tried numerous times to help me understand those further maths theories.
i make Pang realise that he did most of his homework wrong.
so that kinda makes me the annoying gal who just cant seem to understand the simplest things.

well, till then.
i have pure maths, thinking skills and economics tests to worry about.
back to exams and fattening sessions.
imagine that before CNY.


sometimes two rainbows can just make your day.
it did today.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

life goes on?

that was certainly a wake up call for me.
who knew?
they/ we arent even adults yet.
they still had a bright future ahead of them.
that's what i assume.
its always the case
we plan plan plan for the next 10,15 years
when you dont even know when your time is up.
funny huh?

really makes me ponder.
am i focusing too much of the worldly things that arent eternal,
till i forget to focus on fulfilling my purpose in life as His follower,
before i reach my expiry date?
am i treating it as a norm to assume i'd live up to 80 and
have dozens of grandchildren,
till i think its unimportant to act now?

its time to get things straight.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

its only january
and i hear news of who's leaving and who's leaving.
and it doesnt feel nice.
especially those friends who can make you feel that you can spend eternity together with them.
rational people would say its life.
i'm rational.
but i still dont like it.

i always thought how would it have been,
if i was the one leaving.
would I be missed?
i dunno.
my mum would. that's for sure.
or maybe they'd think its life too.
and time just washes away the memories,
little by little.
i just hope i made a mark in their lives.
a good one.

haven't got anybody dear leaving too far away yet.
Thank God and it wont be hard for them to come back and visit.
but if you know u're dear to me,
and you're leaving soon.
i don't mind an early notification if you don't like a wet shirt and floor.