the girl with a dream

okay.
i'll admit it.
i'm a perfectionist.
but not a careful one.

im pulling my hair now!!!
argh!!!
its so frustrating when you have a collection,
and then to your horror!!!
u misplaced one of them??!!!!

gah!
and i can actually spend an hour looking high and low
when i should be studying.

so all u people out there,
don't get me into collecting stuff,
i'd skin you alive.
i.mean.it.

im just the fav type for all those sneaky businessmen
who always come out with those collectibles
cos' i lose them
and i'd buy them to complete the collection.

tsk.tsk.
pengguna yang tidak rasional.

if you're from YE 08' or
from the yearbook commitee,
and you're reading this,
dun laugh... u should be glad i didnt make your life harder, XD

sometimes,

very capable people can be so caught up with themselves.

they do things so well that they tend to forget about God's grace.

they think they can achieve everything they set their heart to

well, which is true.

and they think they can control their own lives their own way.

*

i fall in that category.

*

you might be rolling your eyes in disbelief

that i actually think that i'm quite capable of doing loads of stuff.

you might call me a show-off.

*

i call that-PRIDE.

*

i've been battling with this issue since form 4.

especially when i was actively involved in YE.

i always thought if i work hard enough,

things will work out and i'll get my reward.

simple.

little did i know that i was prideful.

i thought i was a good testimony for Christ.

being so involved with all sorts of stuff yet trying hard to cope with studies.

i think a preacher talked about it...

or uncle sam prayed for me...

only then did i know i was trying to play god.

*

daniel ross came last week.

he has a lot of this very wise theories.

like, " show me your friends, and i'll show you your future."

" unforgiveness is like drinking poison and wanting the other person to die."

wise right??

he gave an illustration of surrendering to God.

with a feather.

you see, God does not force anybody.

He lets us have our own free will.

and when He calls on you, its just a soft, gentle whisper.

if you happen to hold on to your feather ever so tightly,

even if you say you surrender.

its unlikely that it'll fly away.

(feather= burden) my own interpretation.

but if you actually open your palm flat

and let God take control.

He will, together with your worries too.

*

I'm learning that with my year book.

i made a prayer saying that i'll let go of my feather.

little did i know, that it would have cost my yearbook.

God knows where your heart is i guess...

and what a lesson!

and to all my schoolmates who read my blog.

yes, we might not make it before graduation night.

but i leave it to God for his perfect timing.

*

and i wouldnt want a lousy yearbook with full of mistakes and errors

just because i wanted it out fast.

i wouldnt wanna hide somewhere once i finish distributing the book to you guys. :)

ppl should grow...
not stunt or die.
it just shoudnt be that way when you have tons of nutrients in you.
*
well, why is it that i feel that i'm not growing at all?
maybe i havent sacrificed my time at all for the past month?
or i've been comforting myself that its ok?
or i just tend to slack off my bible time later and later now?
wake up, gal!
i've been giving in to the temptations too much.
now its so hard for me to find my will power.
*
i need Connie back. seriously.
God's version of Connie.
God-filled Connie.
passionate Connie.
ever-ready to serve Connie.
and I'm going to get her back tommorow!
*with God's strength of course.
i dun wanna a life like this.
i dun wanna waste it without fulfilling any plan of God's.
its just such a pity to waste a beautifully created creation. :)
*
you too, ppl.
dun waste yours.
its such a pity.