the girl with a dream

this coming month is going to be a super tough month for me.
every thing is going to be so unstable and so uncertain.
the problem is...
im going to be static. for a change.
its the people around me that are going to change.

i so hate the leaving part.
this is the only part i hate about leaving school.
well, hey, i get to leave my hair, dye whatever colour i like,
paint my nails, wear anything i'd like.
drive anywhere i wanna...so its like a huge chunk of freedom
on my hands.
then there has to be D part, that i hate most.
" goodbyes"

sher lynn might or might not be leaving.
the thought that the 'powerpuff girls' is going to be separated.
is just so...
so....
not happifying.
then there's yvonne, another darling of mine,
going off to bahrain, (hope i spelt tat correctly)
and then off to USA.
then there's maylyn,
off to oregon, USA.
its like all my gal buddies are slowly leaving one by one.

and if u've seen my previous post in fb,
like i wrote,
"nobody is supposed to leave when i'm still here."
but seriously, i have to keep telling myself

" stop being so selfish! its one of the phases of life."

i don't like it because i dunno
if...i can make our friendship stay the same way
...i can accept that we may not remain as good friends after so many years apart
...i can accept the fact i may only be titled as "this was my best friend, LAST TIME."

but all i can do is...
put it all into God's hands.
He takes people in your life away
so that He may introduce ur loved ones
to others to bless them.
as He will introduce new people in my life
and to for me to have the room
in my heart to bless them and be blessed in return,
He has to take away those people who have fulfilled His plan in my life
and send them off on their new journey.

all in all,
i believe in His plans,
thought how uncertain it may seem,
thought how vague it may seem,
But i shall choose to trust with both of my palms
wide open without clinging on to any of my strength.
this is going to be my mindset for the moment.
100 % faith
its not easy
but with God's strength, I can.

the other day, shi hao sent me this email.

'' Winter Choral Festival 2010
Hong Kong Disneyland and Resort"

my eyes just went big!!!
it was always my dream to join a choir and participate in some serious competition
but i never had the time especially when i was still in peng hwa.

u get to go to hong kong disneyland.
u get to go sight-seeing in HK
u get to perform during disney magic music day
well, u get the idea....

so audition is today...
im just going there and play.
i hope i can sing and sway..
and then hear what the pianist has to say.

1. i did consider buying a big nikon/slash dslr and i seriously lurve photography.

2. i did dream of being a psychologist.

3. i regretted stopping my ballet last time.

4.i still remember the time u covered my head with a carton box in the rain.

5.i cant forget that hug u gave me when i cried so badly. and i seriously appreciate it.

6.my mum is a determining factor of my weight. hahaha. ask me...

oh gosh, i cant even type up to 10.
i think i practically tell u guys everything.
so much for being mysterious.