the girl with a dream

sigh...
i miss my mum.
terribly.

she's been away since monday and will only be back on sunday night.
one week! one week!
its such agony...
imagine, talking to her every moment you want.
well, i talk a lot to her.
a lot. i am the TALKATIVE girl at home.
surprised?
haha. its the opposite.
outside, you talk, i'll listen.
at home, only i do the talking.
i'm sort of like her story machine...
cos' i practically tell her everything that happened.
with loads of gestures and facial expressions.
and she laughs.
its so nice to have a responsive audience.

that's y it such a depressing week.
nobody to listen to my grandma stories.
nobody to hug me when i get really pek chek.
nobody to cook vege (one full plate) for me because well, erm, i have bowel complications.
nobody to watch those korean dramas with me.
nobody to tell me, " wei, relax enuf d lo, can study d."
(which is bad esp with the trials coming up)

on top of that, its so rainy.
doesnt make my day any better.
well, trying hard to make
" mummy, i'll be skinnier by the time you come back. :P"
as a motivation which i got
chuckles = ( she's not buying that) as a reply.
at least its a motivation for me to hope that she won't be back soon.
my fats are really stubborn. :)

and i'm sorry if this is depressing for you to read.
well, an emo post once in a while makes my other posts very cheery :D
what a theory.
toodles.

" CONNIE ar, wake up!! -----------(censored). want oso cum talk with me. Hahaha...If u want 2 gt scholarship, save sum money 4 sam, then STUDY! just xin1 ku3 few weeks nia. Ok?"

-sms from sher

slap slap.
go study.
save money for sam.

when was the last time i had a decent talk with a friend?

when was the last time i stopped and looked at the starry night?

when was the last time i knew what you were going thru?

when was the last time i had a good talk with God? ( which is bad )

when was the last time i stayed anger-free the whole day?

when was the last time i sang wholeheartedly?

when was the last time i stepped into a cinema? (ages...)

when was the last time i lay on grass to look at the clouds...?

sigh....

well, at least i've got somebody to pick on my brains for the time being :)

it helps a lot, kinda see a very interesting friendship ahead.

toodles.

i feel so sleepy nowadays.
main reason?
i restrained myself from drinking coffee...
gah!
i need coffee.
huey and wching thinks i " xin1 li3 zhuo4 yong4"= having a delusion
nescafe~~~.
i need you but i have to hate you!

reports show that coffee slows down your metabolism rate (burns off your calories slower) and pumps your heart extra harder to transport oxygen to your brain quicker ( makes you heart work harder) trust me, getting a heartache is NO fun.

that led to the the BAN of coffees from my friends for me during recess.



this was supposed to be an emo post!
i just feel so emo-ish!!!
gah.blah.hah.






do excuse me.
for my insanity.

its just goes up and down.
round and round.
it'll never stop...
well, unless there's no power input to it.

i'm standing right below the ferris wheel.
patiently and eagerly
waiting for whoever or whatever that steps out of one of the carriages.

some are surprising,
some are just painful to go thru again.
some are just the sweetest things created.
some are just really big mountains to get over.

i do appreciate them.
even if they hurt sometimes.
cos you'll never know...
when they'll just leave the carriage and never go up and down again.
some might just go right back in.
and you'll see them real soon.

sometimes i wish
i'll just forget about standing there.
makes life easier, won't it?
haha. but yet,
that's the only connie ferris wheel in the whole world.

you can't take somebody's place
and stand at the entrance of their ferris wheel.
it doesnt have your mark.
nor will it be yours to hold and keep.

well, i'll just treasure those times when i wait for you.
whoever, whatever you are.
make sure you make a mark in my life.

note: this is just another emo post of connie
i know, so dun tell me its emo. ><

p/s: huey nee. keep the other version of the ferris wheel theory to yourself.
even though what i wrote above sounds like your (not mine) theory.